all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
