Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
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