he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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