I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Randomize
