6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
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