so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
