let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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