3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
