You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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