She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
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