if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
