Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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