I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
