god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize