Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
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