Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Also, beer. Big fan.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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