I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
