We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
