So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Randomize
