I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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