Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize
