I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Randomize