It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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