No awkward lesbian experiences without me
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
