Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
He shit in the fireplace
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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