i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize
