Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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