I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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