and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
