Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize