I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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