Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
