hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Randomize
