I don't usually arrange sex via text message
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
