she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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