you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
