I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
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