Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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