I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
