Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Randomize
