No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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