Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
