Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
