i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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