definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Randomize
