Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Where is the hickey?
handjob tips. give me some.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
