Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
