I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
