I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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