new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
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