I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Randomize
