she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
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