I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
