You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
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