I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I yelled at your uterus for you.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
