Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Come see our sink grown plant.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
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