I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Randomize
