Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
