I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
