Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
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