bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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